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The Not-So-Perfect Wedding Ceremony

Girls start dreaming about their perfect wedding from childhood. Using their Barbie and Ken dolls, they start creating fantasies of what their perfect day would be like. By the time their big day does come around, they have all these years worth of planning to make it just perfect.

The “Big day” is here. There is so much to do…makeup,Bridal Veils, hair wigs, wedding dress… Everything needs to be perfect, nothing can go wrong. Its time for the Nikah ceremony now. Amidst tears and smiles, the bride and groom enter the wonderful relationship of husband and wife. They both look forward to a wonderful life ahead of them. Allhamdolillah everything went well and just as planned.

Yet something did go wrong. Something that always goes wrong in almost all the wedding ceremonies I have ever been too. On the biggest , happiest and the most important day of her life, the bride (and sometimes even the groom) misses out on their Salah! The excuses are countless: she cannot make wudhu because of her hair and makeup; this is the one day that she gets off and so on. But this is where an important part of our deen is forgotten: a Muslim NEVER gets time off Salah! And I am talking about girls who are mashAllah punctual in their prayers. How can one afford to upset Allah on the biggest day of their life? Shouldn’t they be trying to earn Allah’s pleasure even more so that there is more Barakah and Rehmah on this day and their new life after that?

There is no excuse to give up Salah much less an excuse as lame as hair and makeup! Why would someone want to sin while performing an act that is Sunnah and completes half of one’s deen?

In all the craziness of the day, one other very important time is forgotten. It’s the time of Nikah, one of the times when duas are accepted. Many of the attendees will remember to make dua at the time, but the people who usually forget are the bride and groom. These are the people part of the act, they should be the ones making the MOST dua at this time. They have countless things to ask for: for a happily married, peaceful life; for pious offsprings; for love and trust in their relationship etc. I was lucky enough to have a really good friend beside me who actually whispered in my ear and reminded me of those duas at the time of my nikah. I wish that every bride is so blessed.

I blame all this on the society and culture we are all brought up in.The bride is expected to just sit around and look pretty. The trend has changed from a shy bride with lowered eyes, to a bride who dances with her friends and is at ease at the event. But what has not changed is the fact that she is not expected to pray with all the other women.

That is the change that we need now!

These are the new traditions that should be started.

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